Knowing how much of your own life experiences to incorporate into your writing is tricky (unless writing your memoirs of course). Often before you know it, you have projected yourself onto a character and this isn't necessarily a good thing.
Making your characters believable means you need to know who they are and why they do what they do. Make sure that their actions follow a natural progression and reasoning based on their beliefs and background - not yours. Some of the best advice on character development that I've received is - interview them. Finding out their back story brings a fuller, more believable edge to them and you can begin to write through their eyes.
The more you know about your character, the more you see them as real people, and the more you see them as real people the more believable they become.
So for as much as it is important to understand what they are dealing with (eg. divorce) it doesn't mean you have to have experienced it yourself necessarily. That is what research is for. It is more important that you understand how they will react to whatever you throw their way based on their personality.
BTW - check out new song today -
Young and Stupid by Hedley.
Happy writing ;)
Emma
ps. still no word on After Jim (my nails are getting shorter!)
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