don't be afraid of change

Over the last few weeks I've been struggling to get over a wall I hit with my latest screenplay.  It didn't seem to matter where I took my characters it just didn't feel right.  So, I'd delete and start over.  I went through this process too many times to count and ended my day feeling defeated and unfulfilled, only to go back and do it all again the next day.

I tried moving onto other scenes, but this didn't work either!  I became so frustrated I stopped.  I closed the screen and watched a movie, then another and another.  Then I read a few scripts, some amazing ones actually.  I thought that might help.  It didn't.  Instead I felt even more inadequate.  Finally I realised I was letting it get the better of me - I was caught up in my head again.

What did I do?  I got back to basics.  I went for a long drive, listened to lots of Van Morrison and worked on something completely different. 

I have an open communication with my 'creative side' that I call dialoguing.  I got this idea from author Sarah Ban Breathnach.  So once I'd let the frustration go, I sat down and started dialoguing about what the problem was.  That is when I realised I was focused on the wrong story.  The places I was trying to lead these characters wasn't where their journey was headed.  Once this revelation came, I realised I'd known all along. 

Whenever I'd been trying to go in one direction this other aspect had been coming into my mind and trying to take me in another.  I'd dismissed it because I had a 'plan', but by opening up to a fresh idea and letting my plan go, I can't seem to get the story out fast enough. 

Don't make the mistake of 'locking' yourself into an outcome.  Writing is an organic process, change is inevitable, but more importantly, listen when change is calling.  When you hit that wall, don't panic, just relax and be open to the new.  Learning to deal with this as a natural part of the process will release you from the self-doubt and berating you put yourself through.

The more you write and the longer you do it, the more you will learn the process and see the patterns.  Finding a way of dealing with it will be a personal venture, one that will involve a lot of self-discovery along the way, but writing as a way of life and not as a job is a journey of self-discovery.  Learning to revel in it is the challenge.

Happy writing ;)
Emma